There is so much to tell, I almost don't
know where to begin. Stained Glass is probably the most
emotionally intense CD that I have composed and recorded. It also
includes one of my most favorite and emotional songs, When I Was A
Child. The CD is about relationships and gratefulness, and is the
culmination of a life-long dream and calling. Though I have had a talent
and love for music all my life, I didn't give myself permission to call
myself a musician and to record music for real until my early 40's.
Perhaps I was afraid to fail or just thought I wasn't good enough. Or
perhaps in the cosmic scheme of things, I wasn't supposed to record
until I reached this time in my life. No matter the reason, when I
recorded Stained Glass it was as if the flood gates of 40+
years feeling and emotion had opened and music poured forth in great
waves, crashing over my heart and out into the world. Stained
Glass IS me- it is who I am on the inside- the way I express my
most intimate thoughts and feelings of God - the things I feel - through
the music. It is communication at its core - using sound instead of
words to express great depth of heart and soul.
I learned a love of
music from my mother. From the smallest age I remember listening to the
classical sounds of Ravel's Bolero, Beethoven's 5th and 9th Symphonies,
Bach's music and melodies for pipe organ, and Dvorjak's New World
Symphony. We didn't have much in the way of things compared to some, but
beautiful music filled our house. I started fooling with the piano as a
young child, and by the 3rd grade, Mom had me taking piano lessons from
the Ursuline Catholic nuns. If the classical music of the Master's
shaped my ear and desire for beautiful music sound, Catholic Parochial
(Elementary) School tempered and steeled it in the fire of a deep love
of God. But that wasn't all - in those days we started every school day
by attending the Catholic worship service or "Mass", which was
often filled with hymns and traditional service music. Even before we
were taught to actually read musical notes, we were taught rudimentary
song parts for the music heard and played at Church. And the music for
the Catholic feast days - Christmas, Ash Wednesday, Holy Thursday, the
Easter Vigil, Easter Sunday, All Saints Day and many more - was
wonderful! It seared in my heart and my memory forever - fusing my love
for God and for the music of His angels into my very being.
This then is the
background for the music sounds and expression that are Stained
Glass. Originally, the first CD I planned to record was going to
be the Latin chant CD, Cathedral Whispers, but as it turned out
intuition and circumstance put Stained Glass first. (More
of that story another time). As is true with all of my music CD
projects, the music, the artwork and even the text are all carefully
planned and selected based on a central theme or series of related
themes. I like for my musical ideas and projects to appeal to the
listener on a variety of levels - the first and foremost of course being
sound, but also on the visual and the intellectual levels.
Note that the cover art
features the image of an old woman going down the steps, having just
left from praying inside a big, cathedral-like old church. Look closely
and notice her face - the wrinkles, the sadness and joy at once in the
eyes, the knowing wisdom that comes only from having lived a long life.
Some of my friends were afraid she was too scary looking and might put
people off who might otherwise buy the CD. But - she is the visual heart
of what Stained Glass the CD is! She is your
grandmother, mine, the old woman down the street or in the
grocery store - she is the aunt we all have - or the one teacher we were
kind of afraid to get in school until we got to know her - she is what
we already have or later will become - because she was our teacher…..what
we were first given on the inside as children and then later as we grew
through our teens years - came from her. On a grander level - our first
images and understandings of who we are and who God is - comes from
those who have come and lived before…….we start out as infants and
small children with only our heritage - that is what our parents, and
protectors and benefactors give us. Our core values, life perspectives,
moral compasses and even our worship and prayer traditions all grew from
what was first given us by others - the important adults in our young
lives. Stained Glass is my way of acknowledging those
precious gifts of heritage - and of saying I understand that as an
adult, I understand my responsibility to pass that heritage on to the
children of tomorrow, one child at a time if necessary. The song titles
- Tomorrow's Son, Stained Glass, When I Was A Child - all speak
to the importance of these relationships - father to child, mother to
child - extended family - friends to neighbors, citizen to citizen. We
ourselves all have (or had) a mother and a father, and most of us as
adults are or will be fathers and mothers.
Stained Glass
has an equally important message on yet another level. Note also that
the colors in the stained glass window are reflected onto the shoulder
of the old woman. The stained glass colors of the cover art and the
different colors of sound expressed within the framework of the CD
mirror real life. All of us, and each of our individual lives, are like
beautiful stained glass - Have you ever been in a Church when it is dark
outside, and no light shines through - you know there is an image on the
glass - but you can't quite make it out because it is too dark - it has
no color……but in the daylight, when the light shines through, you
can see all different colors, and how the pieces fit together to make a
fine, beautiful picture or image. Well - it occurs to me that people -
each one of us as an individual person - are like stained glass. When we
keep the light (of God) hidden within, then no one can really see or
know who we are, nor can they see the beauty of our lives and how it has
made us we are, how it has given us the gifts we have to share - but
when we let the light that is within shine forth, not only can others
see the many different colors of our person, but they can see how all
the different pieces fit together to make the full image of who we are
and what are life is…and most importantly, they can know the beauty of
God in that light and in the colors we share. Know also that like
stained glass, the hues and colors are shaped as much by the angle at
which we view the other person as they are by the distinct colors
themselves.
Of a lighter note - Tom
Barber, my brother in soul and spirit, provided the cover art for this
CD (and three others, Points of Light, Christmas Reflections, and
Cathedral Whispers) in the form of a beautiful, commissioned
painting. He is the most remarkable fellow and the most gifted artist I
have ever known or met. He painted it based only on having listened to
my ideas on what the music was going to be, and on listening to the
crudest $2 cassette tape recording of the music while he painted. The
tape wasn't really good enough to be called a good musical draft - but
the most wonderful painting flowed from his gifted hands to the canvas -
and the Stained Glass cover was born. Tom's life is a
whole other story itself.
Final Thoughts: …..this
is a rather long series of notes, but being the first CD I produced,
there was much to say. Obviously there is a separate and distinct story
that goes with each song that was selected for Stained Glass.
I will say some were planned through careful thought and design, while
others were based solely on last minute intuition and prayer…..But the
rest of the stories will keep for another day….stay tuned.
